The sun went out
Like I knew it would
(They say it went down, but I know better
It is out – forever and for good.)
–
This lingering twilight is our last.
It wasn’t much to mourn, that twilight
Sky-gray flatness like galvanized steel
Not even a touch of trembling mist –
Unromantically dull.
–
But it was all we had;
And now it’s gone.
(We have begun to forget what color is
Already – and the worst hasn’t come.)
—
We dread these dark hours ahead.
Maybe we wish they would actually end
Cut us off now, before we get worse
We are afraid of what we will become
Uncomprehendingly blank.
–
I walk back to the porch
Without even turning round
Across a sinking lawn that we won’t see again;
And then I stop – staring at the ground.
–
A little white wildflower stares back,
Barely discernible in the deepening dusk
One of hundreds, if it were day again
But right now this is all I can see
And it is enough.
–
Time goes on. Like I knew it would.
–
Distracted pupils glaze over,
Tired of straining nerve receptors
Trying to make sense of this lightlessness
Invisible eyes eventually accept invisibility.
Don’t you see?
–
Sallow skin grows damp and gray,
Too decayed to find itself repulsive
Are we glad we cannot see it?
But wait – what does it mean to see?
Don’t you know?
–
It isn’t like there’s anyone to talk to
I am stalk-silent. I don’t even care;
Whatever sanity there was in me has died
So there’s no point. But still, sometimes
I wonder what would happen if I tried.
–
I am immortally tired, yet I survive
Something stronger than sanity sustains this mind
Holding it together, keeping it alive
What would you say if I told you?
It’s a picture of a flower, fast-fading white.
–
The last thing I saw
In the grass somewhere
(Don’t know where you are, hidden in the dark
But my God! – it is good to know you’re there!)
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